My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
