There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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