wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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