I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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