I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
