I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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