we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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