I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
