Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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