You're my little dorito
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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