He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
