Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes

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(206): View more from Washington

imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.

(206): View more from Washington

Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.

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(815): View more from Illinois

u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.

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(210): View more from Texas

Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.

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(541): View more from Oregon

How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..

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(904): View more from Florida

Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.

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