ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
the night ended with taco bell and tears
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
