your thong is hanging out like whoa
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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