yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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