So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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