Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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