and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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