We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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