There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
