i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
