The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
