So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
