this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
