Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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