it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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