i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
