It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
