Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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