Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
