Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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