we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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