meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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