There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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