my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
