What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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