We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize
