The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
