I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
