I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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