remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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