So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
