They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
