It's like God shit irony all over that family
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
