Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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