Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just google imaged poop.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
