don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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