Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
