i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
