So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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